And now for a reading from the Humpty Dumpty Gospel:
HD 1:1 And you, who deny the great Humpty, (or as his friends call him “The Big Hump”) shall surely perish in the fryers of hell.
HD 1:2 But ye who keep the sunny side up will know everlasting satisfaction that is only possible through The Great Hump.
HD 1:3 Born of a virgin, The Great Mother Goose, he was thus goosed into existence.
HD 1:4 For The Big Hump and the father, he who is known as The Great Cock, are one, which made for a very confused Mother Goose who was more than a bit embarrassed by the implication of a son and a lover who were the same.
HD 1:5 And he who rules the barnyard said “Thou shall ignore all embarrassing dichotomies and handle them the way all religions do…ignore them,” and so saith The Big Cock.
I hope you enjoyed this reading. My new religion is Humptyism and the movement shall begin when I complete the Gospel. And, of course, the writing of the Gospel shall be attributed to one of the king’s men.
JH Chrestos runs the website ChristPlagiarized.com.